I sit and cry once again.

Why?

I'm not really sure.

My mind can't seem to understand the depths in which happiness lies.

I just seem to run as far away from it as I can get.

Maybe I don't want to be happy.

Maybe I'm comfortable with my pain.

Maybe I enjoy the hurt, the sadness.

Maybe I believe the tears are my only friend. The only one who will always be there.

Too may lies I've had to forgive.

Only myself remains when all the shots are fired.

And I do remain...though wounded.

Not knowing where to go or how to move, I lay here soaked in my tears and gasping for air.

The pain is unbearable.

But I am comfortable.

                                                                    -emiko_d

I woke up this morning with the urge to cry.

Didn't tell anyone cause they'd want to know why.

Got dressed this morning and put on all black.

Didn't wear any make-up, what's the point in that?

For make-up only covers what you don't want others to see,

And it can't get rid of what's bothering me.

I went to work this morning with a smile on my face,

In the crowded hallway, I felt so out of place.

I started to tell someone I almost wanted to die,

But they'd just laugh and say I have no reason to cry.

They see me as I want them to...Fun, caring, no worries

or important things to do.

But they can't hear the screaming or the torture inside.

They never ask, they have their own lives.

But that doesn't stop them from leaning on me.

I'm being their crutch, but who'll support me?

                                -emiko_d

Disillusioned rainbows dance among the clouds,
Painting the sky into a frown.
Happiness is a fairy tale,
Scarring the minds of innocents who actually believe it exists.
Love is just a role we play.

Now the curtain has been drawn,
The lines long since forgotten.
The scenery has changed
And so have you.
Exit stage left, this is goodbye.

Tomorrow I'll wake up to an empty bed,
Write another sad poem and pretend I'm still breathing.
But death looks pretty wearing my face.

So yes, happiness is an illusion.
But I looked into his eyes once, then he blinked.
And the spell was broken.....
So was I.


                                -emiko_d

With pen and paper in hand

I pour out my soul for all to read

This is how I bleed.

I'd like to blame it on a moment of weakness,

but it was a moment of stupidity.

Now you're gone

And I'm left to bleed.

I saw a piece of heaven, but it was locked

inside your eyes when you sent me away.

It cast me back to hell

And now I'm left to bleed.

The phone rang this morning

I caught my breath and prayed

But it wasn't your voice on the line.

You weren't calling to say you love me,

You're gone,

And I'm left to bleed.

Everywhere I look, I see you.

All that I consume tastes like you.

My world has grown cold without you.

With pen and paper in hand

I pour out my soul for all to read

This is how I bleed

FOR YOU.

                                 -emiko_d

The music pushed me back from hurt

The music pushed me back into my room

The music pushed me back into solitude

'Till I felt isolated.

The music put me in a trance

Can't fight those sweet melodies

Pulling me from the hurt

Pushing me away from the edge.

The music pushed back my depressing state

The music pushed back my reality

The music pushed back my sanity

'Till I had no more.

So tell me,

Can you fight these feelings anymore?

The music pushed me into a dillusion

The music pushed me into a fairy-tale world

The music pushed me into a wall of hopelessness and fear.

But as long as the beats are playing,

The good times will roll

'Cause music takes me on a trip

From this sad cruel world.

                       -emiko_d

ROCK IN PEACE RYAN,  I LOVE YOU

So this is one of my favorites! In fact, I love it so much, that it is a soon to be tattoo.  It's an excerpt from a piece call "Alter-Ego Alters Me" written my by late cousin Ryan. He has been and always will be a lyrical genius, influencing so many people with his words. 

....... Eyesight is a crutch of the unenlightened. Through closed eye meditation I project myself through the universe with no restraint or restriction. Through contact between water and flesh, I remain connected to the Earth and all those who came before me........

   

                                                                            -Ryan Albishi

Your past due.

It's been months since your asshole nature forced me to pick up a pen.

Glad to see you haven't lost your touch.

I was beginning to worry your tongue had gone dull.

But you sharpened it tonight.

You always were good for 3 a.m. angst.

And maybe a few breakdowns along the way.

But what I love most about you is the way you can make me feel so miniscule.

As if I don't really exist.

Believe me when I say, I'm taking great pleasure in telling you to..

GO F@*# YOURSELF!

                                                                               -emiko_d