They say that God only steals pure souls,
They say that your generosity all over pours,
They say that you're dancing with angels,
They say that your heart is blessed in heavens.

I say that you leaving freezes earth,
I say that your soul is not under dirt,
I say that your heart beats within me,
I say that your blood flows within me,

They say that crying only pains your departure,
They say that mourning impeaches your nurture,
They say that praying washes your sins,
They say that leaving to God rejuvenates your skins,

I say that swallowing my tears only saltens my feels,
I say that screaming only softens my strings,
I say that stabbing never heals,
I say that my injury only peels. 


I say FUCK what "they say"! It doesn't make it any easier.


                    -emiko_d

Rest In Peace my Emichon. I miss you so much. Love you baby doll.

Feel no guilt in laughter,

she knows how much you care.

Feel no sorrow in a smile,

that she's not here to share.

You cannot grieve forever,

she would not want you to.

She'd hope that you can carry on,

the way you always do.

So talk about the good times and 

the ways you showed you cared,

the days you spent together,

all the happiness you shared.

Let memories surround you.

A word that someone may say,

suddenly recaptures a time, an hour, a day,

that brings her back as clearly

as though she were still here and

fills you with the feelings that

she is always near.

For if you keep these feelings,

you will never be apart,

and she will live forever

locked safe within your heart.

-emiko_d

Somewhere in my dreams tonight
I'll see you standing there
You look at me with a smile
"Life isn't always fair"

You say you were chosen for his garden
His preciously hand  picked bouquet
"God really needed me,
That's why I couldn't stay"

It's said to be that angels
Are sent from above
I've always had my angel
My  niece - whose heart was filled with love

Wherever the ocean meets the  sky
There will be memories of you and I
When I look up at that sky so blue
All I see are visions of you

"While there's a heart  in me, you'll be a part of me." 

I LOVE YOU so much my Emichon... my baby doll.... my sweetheart.... my favorite..... You are and will always be my angel, and I don't know what to do without you. REST.

                                                   -emiko_d

Pain... Tension... Fatigue... Depression...
Anger, Aggression, Frustration.
All these unwanted sensations -
Burning, hurting, tearing.
My heart alone, cold and fearing.
Why won't you let me sleep, let me rest,
Let me forget
To eradicate, eliminate, destroy all my regrets?
These memories inside, swirling, twirling, unwilling to reside in the corner of my mind.
Repeating, resisting, insisting -
Refusing to be denied its recognition
Of its position in my
Frustration, Confusion, Delusion.
Ah, to close my eyes and let time fly by,
Because there's so much to gain
By forgetting these dreams driving me insane.
Unfocused, unclear, out of control,
My world spinning, spinning, spinning,
My sanity flying through the door.
My reason, my logic, oh, it's tragic,
Like fine sands running through my hands,
I'm losing my mind.


                                  -emiko_d 

I am lost within myself.
I catch my eyes gazing through you into nothingness.
My surroundings blur and darken until I lose sight of everything.
Life has pushed me into a depressing realm of pure exhaustion.
It is all I feel now, but is kept a secret from everyone.
I'm an impostor.
My weakness is only disguised in strength's clothing.
I cry alone and blame allergies for my swollen, "blood-shot" eyes so you won't know the truth.
For I am broken, shattered into tiny pieces.
But no worry, time will aid me in gluing each piece back together again.
And for now..... I'll keep wearing strength's mask.
For you.
                                                              
                                                            -emiko_d

I sit and cry once again.

Why?

I'm not really sure.

My mind can't seem to understand the depths in which happiness lies.

I just seem to run as far away from it as I can get.

Maybe I don't want to be happy.

Maybe I'm comfortable with my pain.

Maybe I enjoy the hurt, the sadness.

Maybe I believe the tears are my only friend. The only one who will always be there.

Too may lies I've had to forgive.

Only myself remains when all the shots are fired.

And I do remain...though wounded.

Not knowing where to go or how to move, I lay here soaked in my tears and gasping for air.

The pain is unbearable.

But I am comfortable.

                                                                    -emiko_d

I woke up this morning with the urge to cry.

Didn't tell anyone cause they'd want to know why.

Got dressed this morning and put on all black.

Didn't wear any make-up, what's the point in that?

For make-up only covers what you don't want others to see,

And it can't get rid of what's bothering me.

I went to work this morning with a smile on my face,

In the crowded hallway, I felt so out of place.

I started to tell someone I almost wanted to die,

But they'd just laugh and say I have no reason to cry.

They see me as I want them to...Fun, caring, no worries

or important things to do.

But they can't hear the screaming or the torture inside.

They never ask, they have their own lives.

But that doesn't stop them from leaning on me.

I'm being their crutch, but who'll support me?

                                -emiko_d